Welcome to my blog. Let me tell you a little about myself. I'm a 41 year old SAHM to 2 kids, seriously considering China adoption. I'm married, and life is good. Well, money it tight, but things are good.I've been married for almost 18 years. My weight fluctuates, and right now I'm 5'2 and 180 lbs. That's fat. I hate my body right now. A year after my son was born, I was 120. The last 5 years I've put on 60 pounds. Emotional eating. I eat a bag of chocolates a day. My breakfast is chocolate. Lunch is chocolate. Dinner is whatever I feed the family, then chocolate into the night until bed. Is it any wonder I'm fat?
My plan is to start the Atkins diet on Monday. I did the Atkins diet after my son was born, and I lost 30 pounds in 2 months. I felt great, and looked great, too. I know it works, I just need to do it. Don't tell me how bad it is for you, it isn't. You're basically cutting out sugar and white flour. Yes I will eat veggies, and will add fruits after the induction. It will certainly be better than eating CHOCOLATE for breakfast & lunch, won't it?
I will get up the nerve soon to take that nasty 'before' picture, and I hope that will motivate me to stick with it. If I have to log onto my blog and see all that fat, it will motivate me! Yes, I gained all of the 30 lbs I lost, back, because I went back to my TOTALLY CRAPPY way of eating. I don't exercise, hate it. Don't have much time to.
Here's the thing. I was a thin kid, and a thin teen. I never HAD to exercise. I could eat whatever I wanted, and didn't gain a pound. Then I turned 30... and what happened? No fair! I can't blame it on the baby weight, like many do. I was thinner 1 year after the birth of my son, than I was before.
So, I hate the thought of seeing someone I haven't seen for awhile. I know they're going to see someone else we know, and say, 'you won't believe who I saw today! Andrea! Yeah, she must have put on about 100 lbs!' I feel like I'm hiding in a fat suit. I HATE the thought of being intimate with my husband. HATE IT. He doesn't say anything, but I know from years past that he doesn't like and isn't attracted to fat. He's been great, not to say anything about this weight gain. It's the elephant in the room we don't talk about. I'M THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.
4 comments:
Just found your blog off of Search and Destroy! We've got a little Sophia from China.
Good luck on your diet....I know it's tough when you don't feel your best!
Be kinder to yourself....what you think you look like on the outside is not what determines the quality of the person inside. I have met a lot of beautiful (and thin) people who are quite ugly on the inside.
I have struggled with my weight for years and know that it is hard to that in mind. I gained at least 20 pounds of 'baby weight' with our two adopted children and it isn't fun not to feel comfortable in your own skin. Trite as it may sound, success in any venue is getting up more times than you fall down.
Best wishes,
Kat
Thanks for posting a comment on our blog. How did you find us? Just curious because I don't know how to find others unless they leave a comment. Are you adopting or have you already?
I have seen that profile pic and always thought it was blood. Chocolate is so much more civilised. Darn.
Thanks for stopping by the funny farm.
I know dieting bites the bullet. It is a very emotional time during the 'wait'. I exercised like a fanatic during the wait almost in rebellion to get in shape. Lost all that the last year with kids. Now getting back to kicking the cat.
I appreciate your sense of humour, even if it includes Tammy Fayes dieing photo on it.
Here to hold your chocolate bag for you.
Senja :)
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